Sunday, July 20, 2014

Dorm Life


Man this week has been extremely hard. Ive been in Bible College for the past week. Theres no wifi which means no Skype or Facebook. (Jen) I don't seem like the antisocial type but when it comes to Filipino teenagers.......I get uncomfortable. Im so used to white people and.......GAH. Just hanging around my new found friends here makes me a bit upset. For one thing they joke ALOT about gay people. Like excuse me. I have gay friends and some of things they say are kinda offending. Also, Filipinos have a tendency to be late for EVERYTHING. To early morning to evening services, we start late and end late. I mean we are going to church at least have consideration of some of the students in the congregation so we could study or do our own thing.

Last thing. (I promise. Im sorry about this stupid teenage rant)

Ive been here in Philippines for two weeks. Ive been repeating how long I will be here in Philippines and that I can understand our native language. People cant seem to wrap their heads around the fact that I can understand them. BE CAREFUL OF WHAT YOU SAY. People joke about having nosebleeds when they speak English. That's great fun and all but seriously. Its getting old buddy. If you cant speak English properly, just listen to what I said a conversation ago. SPEAK FILIPINO. I CAN UNDERSTAND YOU FOR PEATSAKE.



Im sorry guys. I feel better after talking about my problems :P

You can totally tell that its been hard. I cant even cope up with two bible courses. Im a month behind and they expect me to do the tests. I don't have anyone to comfort me and that's hard. I don't want to find anyone else because its hard to find someone to trust. Crying has officially become a common feeling this month and I hate it. I have no one. Music is my only comfort when the wifi doesn't work. I sing while the tears fall but none of the girls know.

The students expect me to do a lot of shit and Im like no. Leave me alone and do it yourself. This talent night is going to be the death of me. Apparently Im a encouragement to the students even if I suck at piano and only decent at singing and flute. I don't quite understand because everyone else is phenomenal at what they do! All I wanted to do was get by the college for the next five months without stress so I can go back to whatever I have left in Canada which is nothing but my family, manga, room and two fat cats that I miss dearly.

On a happier note. The food and some of the girls are nice. I learned how to play the drums this week! I enjoy music classes so much. The music teacher is quite impressed because Im a quick learner in theory class and voice. Choir class never felt enjoyable! The boys are really good at singing!!! I like going to the beach and singing with the boys in their dorm. The view for both genders are quite nice ;) Its hot in the dorm so girls sleep in their underwear. I mean I do that to but it can be distracting when Im trying to study.

I go to the market every single day so I can learn how to buy on my own with one of the girls in my cooking group. She is like my mother! I love her for looking out for me. I actually got extremely sick because the dorm was extremely hot but she made sure I ate. I cried a lot because my mother wasn't there to take care of me but she was.

The boys here take good care of themselves. Im extremely impressed. They shower three times a day, stop by EVERY SINGLE available reflection where they attempt to fix their hair and faces with baby power. Like wow. They are even good looking. Why cant we have boys like this in Canada! 

I was actually escaping a bunch of girls yesterday and I sat by myself on my ipod. Because it was raining with a whole bunch thunder..... :( However this boy I met (Scott) came by and sat next to me and we jammed to his guitar while I doodled on his book. Soon many boys came with their ukuleles (I KNOW. ITS AWESOME) and we sang together. It was so much fun! These boys are just so damn attractive and talented, it makes me nervous when Im around them. Like, do I even belong in youre friend group! Im not that attractive and talented but they were nice enough to come and cheer me up. I like these boys better than the girls. They always ask for my brother Schubert. Pisses me off!

Watching TV is interesting because there are a lot of beauty contests with transgender women. THEY ARE SO HOT. The dresses are so pretty!!! :D Everytime I walk around, there are gay men are wearing lipstick and not afraid to tell the world that they are gay. That is so cool. I wanted to give them a high five but that's weird!

I miss Jen so much drives me nuts. I cant even look at someone else without thinking about her. I suck at break ups. We actually had a conversation about flings. That really hurt. I mean whatever makes her happy she can do whatever she wants. Even it hurts me to hear about it. Im just there to be her friend when she needs it. I can do this I tell myself. I don't have to talk to her all the time but its almost like a reflex. Its not like she talks to me but when she does, its only because I wanted to. Makes me feel bad about myself but that's natural. I cant help it. I miss her a lot. MISS KITA.

I have to let go so she can move on also. That will happen on its own because of the distance. While I study, she will find someone. She deserves someone better while Im here. We will never see each other once I come back and that's for the best. Im just so damn clingy! GOD TAKE ME AWAY.



In order for this pain to go away, I will catch up on my anime!! Theres so many out like the remake of Sailor moon, Free: Eternal Summer, Sword Art Online and Haikyuu!! :D I miss the feeling of fangirling over romantic scenes! Makes me feel happy on the inside.


Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Day 3 in the Philippines!

Morning guys!

Im heading to my other cousins place to celebrate Auntie Normas birthday. Ive had no wifi but since I do, Ive been typing like crazy to tell you about today! :D

I woke up at 6am today, ate breakfast and skyped with Kristen for a little bit. I needed to get more character designs from her so I had something to do on the way to my auntie Normas. I quickly messaged my parents about me going because I will have no wifi until I come back home. I didn't have time to message Jen so.....I just hope shes ok.

I took a shower, packed a days worth of clothing and my toothbrush and went with my Auntie Linda to the bus. I wouldn't call it a bus.....they just crammed people into seats and they picked people up and dropped them off on their way to a certain destination. It took so trip was supposed to be.....about two hours but it was like three. Plus, auntie and I went to Chowking to eat lunch.

There was no air conditioning....

Plus I couldn't take pictures.....people would've tried to steal it from my bag. Soon guys, Ill post pictures on my experience.

After 3pm, we arrived to my auntie Normas place. Her place hasn't changed much except there were computers in the living room. The market was being renovated so they had to wade it out until it was finished. My aunt runs an internet café except theres no internet at her home.

I met up with my cousin Gino and Magie. Gino is taking education in college and Magie is still in elementary school. She is such a beautiful and funny kid to hang around with. I helped cooking for a little while but then I got bored. I went with Gino and Magie and they gave me a tour. Gino drove his motorcycle..........IT WAS FUN. The way the air hit my face and felt nice. I didn't like holding onto Gino because it felt awkward was fine.

He treated me to a chocolate drink at the market and then we went down a hill near the college twice because it was fun!!!

Many kids stared because I yelled in English so loud......haha

Anyway, we went home and we ate pancit, ice cream and tambo tambo (its a food... haha)

A pastors family came to celebrate and I ended up being stared at by their two boys. I met Ginos 21 year old girlfriend (Gino is 17 like me....) but she looks like shes 14. He is so lucky....his girlfriend lives in the same house as him. I admire his self control!

In order for me to stay awake, I played chess with Gino and talked with the adults about Canada. I ended up staying up till 8pm and went to bed right after I showered brushed my teeth.

I thought about Jen for a little while. I hope shes alright......I miss her so much.

I even thought about my other best friend Meg. Shes in Europe that luck sack. I hope I can be able to Skype her soon also.

Anyway, night guys!!!


Tuesday, July 8, 2014

In Philippines....again! :D

Hello from the Philippines!

I am extremely tired! Today marks day two out of........5 months in the Philippines. Why am I here?? Its so hot! :P

My parents suggested that I go on vacation before I go to college in January. It sounded nice until I found out that I had to give up a lot of other things.

1. My girlfriend
2. Working/Money
3. Scholarships
4.  MY GIRLFRIEND (....did I mention that already?)

I'm still upset about it....

Look at this dork.


Anyways. I cried a lot the last week in Canada. Many of my friends visited me before I left. It was pretty fun and upsetting. I mean I know I will see them again but it wont be the same. 

So the flight to Philippines was a long and......kinda depressing one.

Lets back up to a couple hours before my flight.

Day 1

I got up at 7am Saturday. My two brothers were in the other room sleeping. Their friend Jonathan was sleeping over and I caught a glimpse of him going to the bathroom before I got out of bed. I quickly checked my phone and new Ipod (I bought it because my parents wouldn't let me bring my phone) if there were new facebook notifications.

I needed to quickly figure out how I was going to sneak out of the house around 8 this morning so I could say goodbye to my girlfriend. Im going to miss her so much.

I took a quick shower, put my travelling clothes on and fixed my bag. I remembered that my pencil case was in the car and was missing. I quickly told my parents in the basement that I will be frequently checking the car and in the house if my pencil case was anywhere in both of the areas. It wasn't a big deal so I got out of the house when Jen texted me. I made sure I deleted the text right away because my parents will be taking my phone before I leave.

I ran to the park and into her arms as soon I saw her. We both started to cry. It was the first time Ive seen her cry since Andrew died. I hate seeing her cry but its nice to know that she really does care for me. She had to get to work so I let her go after a very long hug and kiss.

I know we will see each other again but not in the same setting. She will never love me the way she did before.

I quickly and quietly ran to my house, looking back everytime I was close to my house.

The rest of the day was full of different feelings. I wasn't sure what to do anymore. Was this a good decision? Will I be able to survive? Life was just kinda.......weird that day. I texted Aeroll about visiting everyone at work before I left but I just didn't have the guts and time to see him and the others. One goodbye was enough for me. He got angry but whatever. Its not like we were good friends in the beginning.

I did some final touches to my room, making sure my parents didn't find anything weird while I was gone. I kept cleaning my bathroom because I didn't want to think about Jen but I ended up thinking about her anyways. I had to make sure the apps on my new Ipod were there and photos so I could do something while I was bored. My tablet was only good for facebook and documents.

(I had to make sure pictures for my character design were on here so I could work on them!)

Everyone was messaging me on when I will be in the Philippines and for how long. Some asked when I was leaving that day. I wasn't sure so I asked my parents. They told me 3pm.

I took a nap at 1pm because I just exhausted and emotionally drained. I woke up shortly to say goodbye to my brothers because they were going to the library with Jonathan. I didn't cry, I knew they were never going to change. Well the way they felt about me anyways. I will always be their older sister whether they liked it or not.

I laid back into bed and before I knew it, I was quarter to three. I got up quickly, fixing my bed and then I put makeup. I changed my tank top to a t-shirt just in case I needed to take off my sweater. I went to the kitchen and grabbed a banana. I heard my father shuffling around and then he spotted me. Papa told me to wake my mother up so I did. I even quietly teared up after I looked at my room one last time.

I was all ready so I took my bag and carryon to the car. Upon arriving, I made sure I had everything. My parents were getting snacks for the trip. I didn't know what they were rushing for.

They soon told me that they had to drop off spring rolls at a friends wedding before they dropped me off to the airport.

We prayed for a safe trip and I was off.

Goodbye house. Goodbye Stettler.

Half an hour later...

My parents couldn't find the wedding so they decided to go to Ponoka to grab my vacation pay. My vacation pay wasn't on my paystub so I had to manually pick it up and deposit it into my bank myself. I ended up dozing off until my parents woke me up. We were in front of mcdonalds in Ponoka.

I entered the Mcdonalds (so much nicer than the Mcdonalds in Stettler) and I saw my old colleague, Tita Francis. I was just so happy to see her! A couple of friends and I were planning to go to see her for the past week but it hasn't worked out. Apparently this time it did!

Tita treated my parents and I to some smoothies (REALLY GOOD) and I bought some food for the trip. We said our goodbyes and then on the road to Edmonton again.

My parents lectured me on what to do and not to do while I was in the Philippines. We were getting close to the airport and I finished my burger and fries.

I felt a sick feeling in my stomach when my dad pulled near the curb of the airport.

I don't want to go.

My mother and I unloaded while my father went to find parking. We went to the self check in area and checked in my two heavy baggages. My mother was having trouble sticking the stickers on the one baggage but we got it. Papa soon arrived and they both helped me get to the check in desk.

After that, I had an hour to spare before I had to go the gate. We went to the bathroom and my dad spotted another Filipino family. He asked if they were also going to Philippines and sad thing was, they were. Their flights were exactly the same as mine and thankfully, they welcomed me to follow them until I arrive in Manila. THANK GOD. I could have gotten lost.....

Anyway, my parents had some lovely conversations with that family. They had two kids, one in grade 9 and the other in third year university. I remembered one of the kids (not really a kid anymore) name was Nicole. I cant remember the other one......he was very quiet but handsome. Haha!

I then said goodbye to my parents and then I went through security.

Security always freaks me out even I have nothing to hide. It just does. I know they are trying to protect this country.......anyways!

I was one of the first to get out of security so I waited for the family.

For at least an hour, we waited at the gate. I had some good conversations with Nicole. I noticed that she was a very lovely and pretty woman. :)

Soon it was time for us to board. There wasn't any space for the one carryon so it was stored close the back of the plane. What a pain in the ass it was to get it out.


The flight to Vancouver wasn't so bad, wasn't long either because I was knocked out for most of it. We landed in Vancouver at about.......10pm I think. We had a couple of hours to spare so we found a place to eat. We ate Japanese food and the workers were generous because it was close to their closing tine, 9:30pm. The family had relatives coming to say Hi from Vancouver so I felt pretty awkward when they arrived. I wanted to Skype Jen but I guess she was having a bad day so we didn't get to talk.

I ended up Skyping with my dad near Starbucks. It was nice to talk to them after travelling with a family I barely knew.

My eyes were getting so tired......the time in Vancouver was an hour behind the time in Alberta.

Soon the family said their goodbyes and we went through security for the G gate. I was so tired....all I wanted to do was sleep!

Anyway, when I walked through the metal detector beeped. My heart died in the inside and the security guard was like, you are lucky, you have a choice between the traditional pat down or the body scanner. Apparently it was a random one and another girl on the other side had to do one also. I choose the body scanner because I haven't done it before. It seemed like a quick and painless thing to do. It wasn't so bad.

I finished quickly and they found nothing on me of course.

I met up with the family and we walked to our boarding area. It was close to the boarding time and we had to change our plane tickets because the ones they gave us were no good. It was quick and we were boarding with everyone else.

The Flight

My seat was at the very back where theirs were in the middle. I told them it wouldn't be a big deal if they sat far away. I was sure I could handle sitting by myself for 12 hours.

I found my seat, it was the only one that wasn't occupied. I was last in that area to find my seat and it was embarrassing but whatever. The flight attendants were really good looking! :D

To say the least, I had to put my carryon in a closet near the middle (better than the last flight, this one is on the way out) and my backpack underneath. I had to make sure my tablet was okay since my bag is kinda squished.

I sat with two other men, a gay couple.

Of course I had to sit next to a gay couple. Out of all days.

These two Filipino men were telling me about how they met and how they are going to be married. I didn't tell them about my own break up but it was nice to know someone has it all figured out. They will have each other forever and that's beautiful. I couldn't quite get their names because they mainly spoke Filipino with me which I found very impressive for me because I understood most of what they were saying.

I fell asleep quickly and I barely got up for the first meal.

The food was pretty damn good for airplane food. I ate most of it and then quickly went to the screen to browse for movies. I soon developed a headache looking at the screen so I tried to sleep but I ended up thinking about her. Thinking about her soon turned into a bad nightmare. I was sleep talking and her name loudly escaped my mouth. Some people didn't care and other jolted from their sleep and frantically tried to look for the culprit who woke them up.

I was constantly waking up to go to the bathroom. I felt so sick....I wanted to throw up but I couldn't. I still had a long was pretty damn painful.

Almost two movies, two more skipped meals and........12 hours later. 

GAHHHH. Im alive!!!:D I thought I was going to die. My mouth became dry and the smell of the airplane gave me such a headache......we are about to land (Im writing all this out. I didn't actually have my tablet open) and you don't understand how happy I am to see land. I wanted to brush my teeth but the bathroom was being occupied each time I looked behind me.

The time in the Philippines was......about 2:30am when we were in the Philippines area. It was.....Monday. Not Sunday because of the 14 hour difference. I guess we were ahead of Canada.

Anyways. (Wow this is one long text post)

We landed and I got out of the airplane with the help of that nice gay couple and a hot flight attendant. I found the mother of the family with my escort. My mother hired an escort so I wouldn't have to find the other terminal/airport for domestic flights in Philippines. I was expecting a female but I got a hot 25 year old male as an escort. He looked really young and I was surprised when he told me how old he was.

I didn't get his name either (what is up with these people and names!) but he was extremely nice. He told me about his ex girlfriend living in Calgary. Interesting :P

He showed the family and I a short cut to customs and we beat the crowd. We went to get our baggages and that long. It was about 2 hours. I was waiting with him from 2:45 to 4ish in the morning. When I finally got all my bags, I asked if I could use the payphones to call my auntie so she could pick me up in Cauyan city (about a two hour plane ride from Manila. Kinda like driving from Edmonton to Stettler). There was no way in hell that I will be staying in Manila. Are you kidding me! The traffic is so bad!!!! Plus the weather is even worse because of the many vehicles.

On another note, I ended up using his phone to call my aunt. She didn't pick up so I tried my cousin who was my age. Lyn Lyn (her real name is Rollyne :D ) picked up. It was 5am and I felt so bad for waking her up. It was a Monday and man........I know the feeling of having school and someone waking you up.....its a terrible feeling. Hahaha!

I went on a air conditioned bus (it was very nice!) to terminal three, Cebu Pacific. My domestic flight from Manila to Cauyan wasn't until 8:50am. It was 6am when I checked in.......I almost got lost! I tried so hard not to fall asleep or take out my expensive devices.....people can steal them. I had no wifi anyways until the last 10 minutes before I had to board the flight. I ate a little snack before I boarded but I was starving.

I checked my facebook messages and my mother needed to make sure I arrived in one piece and safely. I skyped with her and speaking in English in public was weird because people kept staring at me.

I boarded the flight and I fell asleep. I soon arrived in Cauyan city without any problems.

It was so hot but it wasn't as bad like when I first arrived last year. I quickly spotted my auntie in the crowd. I got my baggage and then I had another 2 hour drive to my hometown, Roxas.

I met my cousin Kuya June June, auntie Norma, Uncle Rolly and auntie Linda. We drove to a fast food place called, Greenwich where they are known for their pizzas. I ate so much chicken, rice, spaghetti and Hawaiian pizza. Soon we were on the road again, this time I slept for the rest of the way.


Its still Monday and I arrived at my cousin Lyn Lyns house. I consider this another home because the room I sleep in is air conditioned and has wifi. Plus, she is like my favorite cousin. She is in college for business and its funny the way she talks. Her English is perfect :D

I still had a full day ahead of me.....

My auntie Linda unpacked my stuff and rearranged it so I could get my clothing better. I talked to my mom and a lot of other friends about my experience so far. I will be going to Tuegegaro (1 hourish away from Roxas) to visit Lyn Lyn. However, I talked to Lyn Lyns best friend, Sjay. He has been talking to me about dating me and I never actually met him face to face. I didn't feel comfortable but it was nice to finally meet after a couple months of chatting. I then took a quick shower because I wore the same clothes for a very long time..... :(

The water was so cold and beautiful!

I ended up just on the internet and queuing my tumblr posts for a little while. Later I was on the road again to visit my cousin. It was about 4pm when we arrived but Lyn lyns classes didn't end until 4:30. It was weird seeing so many students in uniform......I felt so out of place waiting for her. Auntie bought me a snack and then after two calls, she came out. I kinda snuck into her school.....I wanted to have a tour of her school so bad. It wasn't a big deal....I just snuck past security hahah.

I met her best friend and I told Lyn Lyn about Sjay. It was funny.

Lyn Lyn ended up coming home with us to Roxas along with her best friend. Lyn Lyn wanted to eat food so we went through the drive thru of Jollie Bee. The food is just amazing.....why are things in the Philippines so much better! Like food! Hahaha!

I was getting tired but Lyn Lyn entertained me on the way home. We dropped her best friend to her house and then we went home. Shortly I went to the doctor with Lyn Lyn so I could stay awake......I didn't want to go to bed early. Well not yet anyways.

I ended up skipping dinner (not a big was morning in Canada and I don't usually eat a big breakfast) and sleeping at 8pm.

There was my day. So busy! Hahahah! Goodnight!!

Day 2

I woke up with a growling stomach at 5am. I opened my eyes to catch my Kuya turning off the air conditioner. I didn't want to get up so I just scrolled through my dashboard. I ended up talking to several people before eating breakfast. Lyn Lyn had to get up to catch the bus to Tugegaro if she wanted to make her 10am class. We ate rice and eggs for breakfast.

She took a bath and I skyped with Kristen for a little while. I got up and said goodbye to Lyn Lyn. I soon ended up skyping with Jen also and.....I just miss her so much. I always thought that she would avoid me but.....I am still her friend. Even if we cant be together, I will always be there for her if she needs it.

My aunt and I were going to the market (I LOVE THE MARKET) so I said goodbye to my best friend and took a shower. The water was cold but it felt nice.

She soon took a shower and then we went inside a tricyle to the market. The market wasn't crowded but it was hot. I wanted to eat adobo (meat with soy sauce...yummy!) and vegetables. I got hungry so auntie bought me a snack called Banana.............darn I cant remember how to spell it. Its pretty much deep fried Bananas with brown sugar on a stick. ITS AMAZING. Its my favorite snack of all time!

We soon went home and people from the church came over for lunch. My friend from the school came and it was nice to meet her again!

I really didn't do anything for the rest of the day except watch the rest of episode 14 of Haikyuu!! on my tablet. I was supposed to hang out with my friends but they were in a meeting. I went to the market again with my auntie and this time she treated me to pancit (noodles, vegetables and meat). I couldn't finish it all because it was an unusual time for me to eat. Im slowly trying to get used to it.

We went home and she cooked dinner. I drew stuff in my sketch book and checked tumblr again. None of my Canadian friends were up yet so I was kinda bored.

Later I ate dinner and was too tired to do anything so I took a shower and went to bed early once again.

Night!!! :D