Sunday, July 20, 2014

Dorm Life

YAY I HAVE WIFI.

Man this week has been extremely hard. Ive been in Bible College for the past week. Theres no wifi which means no Skype or Facebook. (Jen) I don't seem like the antisocial type but when it comes to Filipino teenagers.......I get uncomfortable. Im so used to white people and.......GAH. Just hanging around my new found friends here makes me a bit upset. For one thing they joke ALOT about gay people. Like excuse me. I have gay friends and some of things they say are kinda offending. Also, Filipinos have a tendency to be late for EVERYTHING. To early morning to evening services, we start late and end late. I mean we are going to church at least have consideration of some of the students in the congregation so we could study or do our own thing.

Last thing. (I promise. Im sorry about this stupid teenage rant)

Ive been here in Philippines for two weeks. Ive been repeating how long I will be here in Philippines and that I can understand our native language. People cant seem to wrap their heads around the fact that I can understand them. BE CAREFUL OF WHAT YOU SAY. People joke about having nosebleeds when they speak English. That's great fun and all but seriously. Its getting old buddy. If you cant speak English properly, just listen to what I said a conversation ago. SPEAK FILIPINO. I CAN UNDERSTAND YOU FOR PEATSAKE.

HUFF HUFF

.....

Im sorry guys. I feel better after talking about my problems :P

You can totally tell that its been hard. I cant even cope up with two bible courses. Im a month behind and they expect me to do the tests. I don't have anyone to comfort me and that's hard. I don't want to find anyone else because its hard to find someone to trust. Crying has officially become a common feeling this month and I hate it. I have no one. Music is my only comfort when the wifi doesn't work. I sing while the tears fall but none of the girls know.

The students expect me to do a lot of shit and Im like no. Leave me alone and do it yourself. This talent night is going to be the death of me. Apparently Im a encouragement to the students even if I suck at piano and only decent at singing and flute. I don't quite understand because everyone else is phenomenal at what they do! All I wanted to do was get by the college for the next five months without stress so I can go back to whatever I have left in Canada which is nothing but my family, manga, room and two fat cats that I miss dearly.

On a happier note. The food and some of the girls are nice. I learned how to play the drums this week! I enjoy music classes so much. The music teacher is quite impressed because Im a quick learner in theory class and voice. Choir class never felt enjoyable! The boys are really good at singing!!! I like going to the beach and singing with the boys in their dorm. The view for both genders are quite nice ;) Its hot in the dorm so girls sleep in their underwear. I mean I do that to but it can be distracting when Im trying to study.

I go to the market every single day so I can learn how to buy on my own with one of the girls in my cooking group. She is like my mother! I love her for looking out for me. I actually got extremely sick because the dorm was extremely hot but she made sure I ate. I cried a lot because my mother wasn't there to take care of me but she was.

The boys here take good care of themselves. Im extremely impressed. They shower three times a day, stop by EVERY SINGLE available reflection where they attempt to fix their hair and faces with baby power. Like wow. They are even good looking. Why cant we have boys like this in Canada! 

I was actually escaping a bunch of girls yesterday and I sat by myself on my ipod. Because it was raining with a whole bunch thunder..... :( However this boy I met (Scott) came by and sat next to me and we jammed to his guitar while I doodled on his book. Soon many boys came with their ukuleles (I KNOW. ITS AWESOME) and we sang together. It was so much fun! These boys are just so damn attractive and talented, it makes me nervous when Im around them. Like, do I even belong in youre friend group! Im not that attractive and talented but they were nice enough to come and cheer me up. I like these boys better than the girls. They always ask for my brother Schubert. Pisses me off!

Watching TV is interesting because there are a lot of beauty contests with transgender women. THEY ARE SO HOT. The dresses are so pretty!!! :D Everytime I walk around, there are gay men are wearing lipstick and not afraid to tell the world that they are gay. That is so cool. I wanted to give them a high five but that's weird!

I miss Jen so much and.........it drives me nuts. I cant even look at someone else without thinking about her. I suck at break ups. We actually had a conversation about flings. That really hurt. I mean whatever makes her happy she can do whatever she wants. Even it hurts me to hear about it. Im just there to be her friend when she needs it. I can do this I tell myself. I don't have to talk to her all the time but its almost like a reflex. Its not like she talks to me but when she does, its only because I wanted to. Makes me feel bad about myself but that's natural. I cant help it. I miss her a lot. MISS KITA.

I have to let go so she can move on also. That will happen on its own because of the distance. While I study, she will find someone. She deserves someone better while Im here. We will never see each other once I come back and that's for the best. Im just so damn clingy! GOD TAKE ME AWAY.

GAHHHHHH. HINDI KO ALAM. SAKIT ANG PUSO KO. BAKIT AKO DITO.

SAKIT SAKIT SAKIT SO MUCH THAT I CRY.

In order for this pain to go away, I will catch up on my anime!! Theres so many out like the remake of Sailor moon, Free: Eternal Summer, Sword Art Online and Haikyuu!! :D I miss the feeling of fangirling over romantic scenes! Makes me feel happy on the inside.

Arigatou!!